


Waiting for Sunrise

by PinkuRocket13



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-19 15:20:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22913101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkuRocket13/pseuds/PinkuRocket13
Summary: “So, what are you up to tonight Youngie?"Oh you know, contemplating suicide, the nonexistence of love and the like.“I’m waiting for the sunrise.” It wasn’t a lie, just a half-truth, but that’s pretty much how she’s always responded; with only half of the truth.“Can I watch with you?”“I’d like that.” Sooyoung’s stony face smiled as best as she could at the younger girl, whose eyes formed crescent moon shapes in response.
Relationships: Ha Sooyoung | Yves/Kim Jiwoo | Chuu
Comments: 1
Kudos: 46





	Waiting for Sunrise

**Author's Note:**

> This is an angsty Chuuves one-shot I adapted from a story I originally wrote six years ago when I felt like venting a little, so it's kind of sad but in a hopeful way too if that makes sense lol enjoy!

**_Knock. Knock. Knock._ **

_ Sooyoung, open the door. _

**_Knock. Knock. Knock._ **

_ I said open the door, you ungrateful brat! _

Sooyoung could faintly hear her stepfather’s sharp words and violent knocking from the balcony ledge where she sat against the wall of their house under the owning; bare foot, with only a loose t-shirt and boxer shorts to keep her from the chilling breeze.

But she liked the cold, it made her feel alive.

They were fighting again and Sooyoung had seen and heard and felt more than enough of it in her young lifetime.

_ It’s not right! _ She heard her stepfather’s voice from the window of their room next to hers.

_ Right?! Tell me, tell me what’s right in our lives! _ Her mother scoffed and she heard several loud noises probably coming from thrown and now, broken objects.

She didn’t bother to understand the rest of the conversation. It seemed what her mother had said already mirrored her inner thoughts anyway. Instead, she stared intently at the pile of wood on the balcony’s right-side wall.

She sat there with her knees close to her chest in the dim 2 am glow, willing for time to pass and the sun to come up.

**_Knock. Knock. Knock._ **

_ Sooyoung-ah, let me in. _

**_Knock. Knock Knock._ **

_ Sooyoung. Please. _

It was her mother this time, probably wanting to spend the night in her room after the stressful evening.

_ I’m allowed to be selfish sometimes, right? _ Sooyoung just didn’t want to deal with either of them, she’d much rather watch the cars pass by and listen to the sound of the leaves rustling from the early April wind.

Today was April Fool’s day. And what a fool she felt indeed.

She looked at the distance from the balcony’s ledge to the ground and thought about if she would slide down. And her imagination ran wild as she saw herself fall and crack her neck; blood pooling a crown around her.

_ Maybe they would stop fighting if I died, maybe people would appreciate me more. _

But Sooyoung shook her head out of the trance.  _ That’s not really how I want to die. _

She sighed and laid her palms on her bare thighs to shield them a little from the cold.

_ Love doesn’t exist. At least, it’ll probably never exist for me. _

The faint voices of her parents had faded and silence had taken over.

“ _ Your daughter is the reason for all of this! Don’t you see? She’s trying to sabotage our marriage!”  _ He would say.

“ _ You little shit, learn your fucking place!”  _ He spat in Sooyoung’s face when he gripped her by the neck. That wasn’t the only time. He had other ways to word it too.

She didn’t cry whenever they fought anymore. She didn’t feel anything.

She couldn’t allow herself to.

But in the silence of the early morning and with the few stars twinkling at her, she sang.

And the tears had just come trailing down her face; she didn’t stop them.

They wet her lips and disappeared under her jaw.

Music had a way of reaching into her heart that nothing or anyone else could.

Her voice was low and shaky but she didn’t care too much for how she sounded, there was no audience to please tonight; just her, and the sunrise that could be seen far-off.

A rain cloud had shadowed over her view of the stars and a strong drizzle had started.

_ Funny, even the sky is crying. _

And as it began to subside, a figure in an umbrella had appeared to stand by her house.

It wasn’t  _ home _ , which is why she ran away from it so often, and tonight had been no exception.

But when you have nowhere else to go, you end up coming back.

The figure collapsed the umbrella and smiled up at Sooyoung

It was Jiwoo – the only exception, the one person who made her doubt everything she  _ didn’t _ believe in.

Love was one of those things.

“W-woo, what are you doing here?” Sooyoung tried in vain to wipe the traces of her tears with the heal of her palm as she watched the girl climb up the tree next to the balcony just like she always has since their childhood.

“Pabo Youngie-unnie, I’m here to spend time with you of course.” Jiwoo sat on the old rocking chair by the balcony’s wall and pulled out two cartons of banana milk and a peanut butter sandwich for Sooyoung as well as a strawberry jelly sandwich for herself.

Jiwoo ignored the swell beneath Sooyoung’s eyes and the pink that painted the tip of her nose, but it was always difficult to try and ignore the fact that she knew – Sooyoung had fought with her parents again.

She never brought up the topic unless in a rare moment of vulnerability the older girl would say something small about it and she would respond carefully but it was usually just that, nothing more.

“So, what are you up to tonight Youngie?”

_ Oh you know, contemplating suicide, the nonexistence of love and the like. _

“I’m waiting for the sunrise.”

It wasn’t a lie, just a half-truth, but that’s pretty much how she’s always responded; with only half of the truth.

“Can I watch with you?”

“I’d like that.” Sooyoung’s stony face smiled as best as she could at the younger girl, whose eyes formed crescent moon shapes in response.

She was having one of those vulnerable and honest moments when she let down some of her guard and let Jiwoo in, to which Jiwoo was always grateful for.

Sooyoung took a bite out of her sandwich. She hadn’t realized she was hungry or thirsty after she had stormed out at dinner, therefore having none altogether.

“Jiwoo-ah, do you,”

“Hmm?” Jiwoo was sipping her banana milk as she looked at the rain pitter-pattering against the black asphalt.

_ They look like crickets, jumping up and then crashing back down. _

“Do you believe in love?”

“Of course.”

“I don’t.” Sooyoung tore a whole chunk of her sandwich and stuffed it in her mouth. She was gazing at Jiwoo’s profile as the younger looked on at the rain.

“Why don’t you?”

Sooyoung swallowed. “I don’t have a reason to.”

“Well, then what’s your reason for  _ not _ believing in it?” Jiwoo was pushing it and she knew that, but she wanted to see just how far Sooyoung would go; not because she wanted to irritate the girl but rather because she wanted to understand her.

“Do you like my house?”

Jiwoo turned her head to look weirdly at Sooyoung for the strange question.

“Yeah, I guess so. It’s pretty and neat.”

“Would you say it’s a happy looking house?”

“Sure, although I’m not sure how to tell if a house is a happy one or not, maybe I should ask it.”

“Hello, Ha family home! How are you today?” Jiwoo cupped her hands against the wall and leaned her ear into the space. She giggled to lighten the mood, and it did as a tiny smile twitched at the corners of Sooyoung’s lips.

“He says he’s not happy because he’s a house and not a home. He says  _ ‘home is where the heart is’ _ and there is no heart living here.” Sooyoung’s smile looked sad and weary.

The dark circles beneath her eyes seemed to deepen and her cheeks sallow and thin against the glow of the street lights.

But maybe Jiwoo has just blinded herself all this time as she has watched Sooyoung’s misery from behind the line that Sooyoung herself has drawn. But she, of all people, could understand completely.

“Sooyoung, don’t say that.”

“But it’s true. My heart doesn’t belong here. It never did.”

“Where does it belong then?”

The sky had turned from indigo to purple and now orange’s and pink’s had slowly crept up from the time Sooyoung and Jiwoo had spent together.

“I don’t know, really.” Sooyoung let out a long sigh and ran her fingers through her hair. But a thought had blurted out from the back of her head.

_ With you. _

“Unnie, we could run away y’know? Right now, we could stop feeling this way.” It was then that Jiwoo looked head-on at the girl on the ledge.

Sooyoung hadn’t noticed the fresh cut on Jiwoo’s lip or the bruise on her temple. She was sure there were other new ones as well.

“Jiwoo-ah, did he – “

“Yes”

Sooyoung just like Jiwoo, had never pried the girl for information about the wounds and bruises that speckled her body through the years.

She doesn’t remember how many times she’s heard excuses like ‘I tripped.’, ‘I’m so clumsy Youngie-unnie~ I hit myself on the wall again.’

But as the years went by, the wounds became harder to hide and the bruises lasted longer than they should’ve and Jiwoo no longer gave any excuses.

She was sure it was her father who was doing this to her. Jiwoo never asked how Sooyoung knew either; she just expected that she would.

And it has become routine for them to meet here and Sooyoung would mend Jiwoo’s physical wounds as the latter would mend Sooyoung’s broken heart.

“And I’ve had enough of it. I’ve had enough of all of this – this,  _ this bullshit _ !”

“Okay.”

Jiwoo caught her breath from her outburst. “What do you mean ‘ _ okay _ ’?”

“I mean okay, let’s go. Let’s run away.”

“Y-you mean it?”

Sooyoung always knew this would happen, it was a matter of when rather than if. And so, on a particularly difficult night that resulted in her escaping from her stepfather’s sharp tongue and her mother’s defeated eyes, she packed a duffel of things enough for about a week on the road just behind a large plank of wood that leaned on the balcony’s right-side wall.

She pulled the bag out and dusted it before slinging it across her back as Jiwoo watched her with wide eyes.

“I always knew we’d go someday. So I prepared.” Sooyoung smiled genuinely for the first time in a long time and she pulled Jiwoo up from the rocking chair and into a tight embrace.

Their hearts were beating against each other and Jiwoo’s warm breath tickled Sooyoung’s neck as she shook through her tears. 

But Sooyoung knew they were happy tears, because she was crying them too.

They would be free. They could start anew. They could be anyone and anywhere they wanted to be.

Sooyoung pulled away to kiss the bruise on Jiwoo’s temple and the younger sniffed as she caressed Sooyoung’s worn yet child-like face, wiping away her tears.  _ This, this could be what home feels like. _

And as the sun rose that morning, nothing was left of them there. Not a letter, not even a short good bye note.

The bad memories and nightmares of yesterdays stood in place of them.

A new day had started and Sooyoung still didn’t believe that love would come to her – but Jiwoo was the exception.

Jiwoo made her doubt everything she didn’t believe in.

Love was one of those things.

And after all, in Jiwoo’s sparkling eyes and between her nimble fingers, Sooyoung had found  _ home _ .


End file.
